March 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

I have a bit of friendly advice for politicians. Admit that you like watching porn. Eulogise about extra-marital affairs. Drop hints about the extravagant benefits of the Kama Sutra. Either that, or keep shtoom about sexual morality altogether. Anything else and you are asking for an orgy of political embarrassment.

Most of us thought John Major would forever have the last word on crafting his very own banana skin. The former PM, who created the somewhat cringeworthy “Back to Basics” campaign, was predictably lampooned when the papers discovered that many of his backbenchers had been having it away with the secretary. Possibly the same one.

The short-term political gain from the blue-rinse, morally conservative brigade — assuming there was one, which I rather doubt — was eclipsed, to put it mildly, by the litany of scandals involving everyone from Piers Merchant (who had an affair with a nightclub hostess) and Tim Yeo (who fathered a love child). And that was before anyone found out that Major himself, the old fox, had been having it away with Edwina Curry.

None of this would have been any of our business, of course, except for the moral crusade launched by Major. Most sane people do not give a fig what their politicians do in their private lives, providing it is consensual, and providing it does not involve any red boxes. But when you start limbering up at the pulpit of moral sanctimony you are just setting yourself up for a fall, Jimmy Swaggart style.


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