Fighting PowerPoint, one slide at a time

July 13, 2011 § Leave a comment

Switzerland doesn’t pick a fight with the world unless it is at its wits’ end, because all its army has to defend itself against a riled enemy are small red penknives with built-in tweezers and a fish-scaler.

So when a new political party launches with the sole aim of outlawing the tyranny of PowerPoint presentations, you know that the Swiss — a people so stoic that they uncomplainingly subsist on a diet of melted cheese and Toblerone — have been provoked beyond the brink of boredom.

The new Anti-PowerPoint Party says that banishing needless PowerPoint presentations could save the world €350 billion a year (see page 29). More thrillingly still, banning it would spare the world from having to listen to someone recite a sentence to an audience which that audience simultaneously sees repeated, and can read for themselves, on an overhead screen. It’s like living life in duplicate. It’s like living life in duplicate. Alternatively, Sentences Are randomly fractured Into meaningless Bullet points

Or else PowerPoint condenses information until a potent message is distilled to the point of triteness, and the listeners’ eyes are diverted away from a passionate orator to a slideshow that reads: Defend our Island home Not FLAG or FAIL We shall fight in France Seas and oceans Fight on the BEACHES Surrender? NEVER So three cheers for the Swiss. Or, as you can see on our overhead slide: Three cheers for the SWISS.


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