William Flew and Women

April 10, 2011 § Leave a comment

After 500 years of progress, women’s heads are finally as big as men’s. Now we’re asking them to shrink their breasts

According to research undertaken at North Carolina State University and picked up in a British tabloid this week (without which I would have been ignorant of it, my subscription to Headline-Grabbing Projects by Minor American Colleges Quarterly having recently expired), women now look more like men than ever before.

I read it and thought: “That’s probably fair.” All this female experimenting with short hair, trousers, drinking pints and not riding sidesaddle has probably led to a certain blurring of the boundaries. And more than once I have thought “Phwoarr” at the arrival outside a pub of some hot blonde leather-clad biker chick, unstraddling her Kawasaki and shaking down golden Timotei locks as she unhelmets, who turns to reveal a scraggy beard with bits of egg in it and the blotched and mottled face of a 54-year-old Brummie chewing on a roll-up.

But that’s only clothes. And that’s not interesting. So I read on. “A study of skulls from the past five centuries”, said the report, “has found that over time, women’s faces are becoming more and more like those of men.”

Ah, well, there you go. Skulls. I must say that I have never looked at a skull, old or new, and thought: “Oh, what a beautiful girl.” So if the skulls of boys and girls are becoming more alike, then the difference must surely be marginal and barely noticeable to the naked eye. Archaeologists have in the past been fooled into thinking, on the basis of skulls, that they have found bits of early man, only to discover that they were looking at the head of an ape or a monkey or even a cat. Indeed, I, when young, once called the police to report a murder, having found in the bottom of my sandpit what turned out to be two thirds of a coconut.

 

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